


Don't You Ever Say I Ever Walked Away

by Melmel3303



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cheating Dean, M/M, Sad Sam, Suicide, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 20:09:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9341249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melmel3303/pseuds/Melmel3303
Summary: Sam and his emotional journey





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of these characters or Supernatural

Sam often wonders what would have happened if he never caught Dean cheating. He wished, absolutely wished that what he saw that night was just a dream, he believed it too, just for a few seconds before he heard the words that repeat in his head every night. 

Maybe if he wasnt awkward, maybe if he had let Dean take his virginity sooner, maybe if he was just a bit more... /perfect/, he would still be held in Dean's arms every night and be the only one to hear his groans of pleasure.

Sam made every excuse in the book to justify his lover's infidelity. He believed it was his fault, his fault for pushing Dean to cheat. No matter how many nights he cried himself to sleep or the nights he didnt sleep at all, he couldnt bring himself to believe it wasnt his fault. 

Wishing his friends understood, how much it hurts sleeping in the same room with the man you once called your lover and hearing him make love to another, maybe they would understand why he wanted to stay over every night.

Moving was always the worst, having to stay in a car for hours, seeing how happy his lover was in the drivers seat. Sam knew what had happened didn't and never would effect Dean. He was positive he only caught Dean because Dean wanted him to catch him, wanted Sam to see how he didnt want him anymore. 

Being alone is the best, being alone meant he was free to cry and stand in front of the mirror, seeing every mistake on his body and soul. 

He had thought of leaving, to never look back, but he couldnt, couldnt bear to leave the only person he has ever loved and ever will love. 

But he did leave, left forever with only a note to ever show he was alive.


End file.
